The Volkswagen Beetle Myth

By Tenea

The year was 1920.

Zeus looked down from Olympus and saw man building cars. "Cars?!? Why should man have such a luxury?" he exploded. "What has man done to deserve this? Few even believe in us anymore. Ignorance, ignorance. Well, man shall have their 'cars'. I will have Athena design a car that will be man's undoing," he said.

Zeus called for Athena and told her his desire.

Athena laughed wickedly and said, "Father Zeus, I will do as you say and more. This car will be sporadic. Every three decades it will resurface and be around for another three decades. Oh," she laughed again, "Man will suffer more than when you did that Pandora scheme." She cackled. "I am enjoying this already. I have the beginnings of a great idea."

Athena went back to her workshop. She had a vague idea of what to design the car to look like but needed a more detailed plan. She worked furiously for days. One summer day Persephone came to visit her.

"Hello, Athena," she said. "I have not seen you lately."

"Greetings, Persephone. I am working hard on this project. Zeus wants me to design a car that will hook humans."

"Oh. You are looking for a design? Well..." she held out her hand. Inside was a beetle.

Athena jumped up. "Perfect!" she cried. "An unmistakable design. Thank you, Persephone."

Persephone smiled and went away.

Athena sat down. Now that she had a model, she could start designing the car.

Athena spent five years on the car, a small time for a goddess. In 1925, the car was finished. She said, "I will call it the ... Beetle! Yes, the Beetle. Perfect name. Now, to find some mortal to give this wondrous idea to. But first, I must show Zeus my handiwork."

She left her workshop and had Hermes drive the car up Olympus. She had made the car so small she was not able to fit inside. When he parked it in front of Zeus, Athena said, "Zeus, this is the car you requested."

"Wonderful! Do you have the plans? Good, I would like one. I will have Hephaestus build it and I will make it bigger. The plans are fine. The fact that the car is small will add to the craze. Now, there is an even greater task in front of you. You must find some mortal to give the plans to. Let the second part of the plan begin!"

Athena made a deal with Hermes. He would find a mortal to give the plans to, and she would give him the Beetle to keep. Hermes flew around the world. One day, he came to a rest in Germany. He saw that new ideas were being born, and new objects made. "Surely the person I am looking for is here," he thought. He disguised himself as a German. He walked around until he came to a workshop. "This is an interesting place," he thought to himself. Hermes walked inside.

A man behind a desk looked up. "Yes? How can I help you?"

"Just browsing," Hermes muttered. He was looking at all of this man's work. What he saw astounded him. "This is the man," he said in his mind, "worthy of Athena's car." He left.

Back on Olympus, Gods and Goddesses had discovered the Beetle and clamored for one. Athena had plenty to do until Hermes came back. One day, he finally appeared.

"Ah! Hermes," she said. "Have you found the mortal I am to give these plans to?"

"Yes," Hermes replied. "He lives in Germany." And he told Athena where to find him. Athena showed Hermes where she had put his car. Delighted, he drove off. That was the point Athena began to suspect something was wrong.

That night, Athena went to Germany to find the man Hermes had told her about. She found him easily. She induced a dream in which she appeared and told him about the car. "It will make you rich and famous beyond your wildest dreams. Do not ignore me. I do not like being ignored. Not ... at ... all." The last part was said through clenched teeth. "Found a car company while you're at it. Call it Volkswagen. The car is to be called the Volkswagen Beetle. Do not mock me, mortal. Do as I say or else I shall have Zeus kill you with a thunderbolt." The poor man was frightened, but he knew that the Gods do not like to be mocked. He was one of the few people who still believed the old myths. He knew Athena would be true to her word. So when he woke up he laid out the plans Athena had planted in his mind the night before.

Athena watched, pleased. Zeus would be happy.

Five years later...

"What do you mean you decided not to buy from Audi? I thought we agreed to buy one of their cars!"

"I know, but the Beetle was at a low price and I figured ... well you only live once, so I seized the moment. Look at it!"

That was the scene all over Germany. The Beetle had been excessively popular ... in both realms. Zeus never went anywhere without going there in his Beetle. Athena was worried, but what could she do? She remembered what she'd said to Zeus at the beginning. "This car will be sporadic. Every three decades it will resurface and be around for another three decades." True enough, but not only was that the case in the mortal realm, it was the case in the Parthenon. Athena seemed to be the only one, mortal or god, not to be affected by the Beetle. It was because she was the one who designed it, she decided. This went on until the 1960s. The Beetle disappeared after that. Athena was relieved until she remembered that it would come back in the 1990s.

Thirty years later...

"Athena?" Clotho called. "Could you please make up three of those nice Beetles you designed? We Fates don't like being left out, and those Beetles are so popular ..."

"NOOOO!!!" Athena screamed.