Pantheology

Page 4

“In the name of the Aesir, Thor commands you to leave this land or face Mjolnir.” Thor stood ready and impassive, face betraying no hint of thought, waiting to see the reaction of the two trespassers.
“Who’s Mjolnir?” Athene attempted to break the uncomfortably silent stand-off. In response, Thor indicated the hammer he brandished.

“How bloody cute, they give their weapons names.” Ares drew his swords as he spoke, then yelled a war cry and charged at the Norse god of thunder.

Thor didn’t even bat an eyelid as the prince of pain hurtled towards him. Then, when Ares was just within reach, he struck. Thor’s arms brought the hammer round almost faster than the eye could see, connecting with Ares’ head before he had even finished his stride. Athene winced as the sickening crack rang throughout the air and Ares collapsed. A large puddle of blood and brains flowed from the gaping wound, seeping over his jet black hair and beginning to frame his head. Athene sighed. If you wanted a job doing properly...

Thor grunted with satisfaction and turned to his next prey. He drew his arm back and hurled Mjolnir through the air. The hammer spun end over end towards the goddess who bore the aegis. Even before she had consciously thought about it, her hand whipped through the air and came back holding the hammer. Athene turned it over in her hands and evaluated it curiously, warhammers not being frequently used in the classical world.

“Nice craftsmanship. Ares’ brains didn’t even leave a stain. Handle’s a little short though.” Thor was a little dumbfounded. The normal result of having Mjolnir thrown at you was that you tended to die horribly in a mess of broken bones and ruptured organs. You did not normally end up offering critical commentary on it. Athene looked up from the hammer at last, as if she had forgotten about Thor’s existence.

“Throwing your hammer around is all well and good, but where I come from real fighters can destroy their opponents with their bare hands.” Athene spoke carelessly, as if the thunder lord was barely worth her attention.

“I can crush you without Mjolnir if I must.” Thor didn’t make threats, just observations. Athene smiled and cast both the hammer and her spear to the ground, and dropped the aegis from her shoulders to allow her freedom of movement. The bright-eyed one enjoyed hand to hand combat, although she didn’t have much time to make use of it in her normal duties. Thor moved towards her carefully, aware that anyone who could catch Mjolnir must be deadlier than the lithe form she appeared to be.

As the combatants began to close, Thor swung his fist towards Athene’s skull, with enough force to smash a bronze breastplate, and the ribs of its occupant. Athene effortlessly brought her left forearm round to deflect the muscle-laden limb, and sent the heel of her right hand into his nose. It gave off a satisfactory crunch as it broke, blood trickling down Thor’s red beard. Athene had expected Thor to at least be a little disorientated by the strike, and so was not ready for the club-like blow to her collar bone, which fractured under the force. The guardian of the Aesir continued the assault relentlessly, grabbing two handfuls of the goddesses’ night black locks, and bringing her head down towards his knee with the intention of splintering her skull. Athene thrust her palms down on the Aesir’s knee, blocking the attack, and in the same movement brought her right elbow up into his groin like a Polaris missile. Without even waiting to see if he would double over in pain, the bright-eyed killing machine wrapped her left arm around his bull-like neck and brought him into a chokehold. Her forearm pulled against his neck, cutting off the flow of blood through his carotid arteries, as would a mortal pankratist of ancient Greece, preventing the nourishing lifeblood from reaching the Norse god’s brain. Thor groaned as consciousness and clear thought bid him farewell, then slumped to the ground as Athene released the hold.

The first thing the thunder god noticed, as he began to shake the cobwebs out of his head and his blurred vision began to adopt something resembling normality, was the spear point resting against his throat.

“You people fight like bears. No skill. Our mortal wrestlers would eat yours alive.” Athene spoke in her usual mild tone of voice, as if she didn’t even remember the spear in her hands. But Thor had the distinct impression that if he tried to renew the attack, he would quickly find the blade of the aforementioned spear sticking out of the back of his neck. “We... I mean I, want to see Odin,” Athene amended her originally intended first person plural after glancing towards Ares’ prone form and seeing that he was in no fit state to see anyone whilst his brains were on the outside of his head. She hoped that by the time he healed up he would be in a calmer frame of mind. Well, as calm as the blood god could get, which was about as calm as a chainsaw wielding loony.